Holidays and Divorce

The Holidays can be hell or they can be memorable. What do you have control over this season, and what do you want to remember in 2010? Create your memories for your family the way you want them this year. Perhaps you will want to start a new tradition or better yet, get rid of the ones you hate. The choice is yours. It is your families' experience to control, you don't have to do what your former spouse likes to do for the holidays. You can create your own traditions.

Holidays

Holidays can be tough, but it's important that you keep the conflict away from the children. Instead of lamenting that you don't have the kids on Thanksgiving or Xmas, try taking care of yourself (instead of taking care of them). Make sure that you have a support system of adults that can ease your pain. Another approach is to try looking at the holidays as a chance to start your own traditions, spend time with the kiddos and spend time with adults (sans kids)!

Castle Rock Radio

This weeks guest on Life After Divorce will be Brad Yodor; former judge and mediator. He will be sharing his wisdom and perspective from the bench. After serving as a judge for many years, he has some great insight into what works and what doesn't work when it comes to resolving divorce issues.

Listen to "Life After Divorce" at www.CastleRockRadio.com every Friday at 11:00am.

CastleRockRadio.com

Tune in every Friday at 11:00am to www.CastleRockRadio.com to hear "Life After Divorce". This internet radio show has topics specific to divorce and offers free advice for families going through the divorce process. You will hear from attorneys, mental health professionals, financial specialists, and real estate experts. You can also visit the archives and discover the shows that are most helpful to you.

Book Signing Children of Divorce

I will be hosting a book signing on September 11th from 1:00 - 4:00pm at the Borders bookstore in Arapahoe Crossing shopping Center. I am launching a children's book titled, Mommy and Daddy are Getting Divorced. It's a re-together book for parents and children that will help children understand divorce and help parents see divorce through their children's eyes. Kristine Turner, Ph.D.

Divorce expectations

Most people enter into a divorce situation hoping that things will get better. Some may have chosen the divorce, while others may feel that it was chosen for them. However, most people hope that when the dust settles; things will get better. For most that day can’t come soon enough. Whether your divorce is amicable or rather challenging, your expectations make a difference. If you expect the divorce to do something for you the marriage didn’t then you may be sorely disappointed. It is common for people to want the divorce to “settle the score” so to speak. Some people hope that the Courts will tell them who the good guy is and who the bad guy is in a divorce. Colorado is a no fault state, so the Courts won’t do this for folks. (They also won’t tell you that they are sorry for you, although they may say that they are sorry for your children.) It is extremely costly to try and get a “win” out of the divorce, to perhaps replace what you didn’t get out of the marriage. For those folks who might try to make the other parent “pay” for all the hurt and pain they have caused in a divorce situation, you will most likely find that it doesn’t work. Couples who come to the table with a realistic expectation tend to do better through the divorce proceedings. Two things that most parents will experience in a divorce are less time with their children than they had before, and less money than they had before. You will find that you will be sharing the children with your former spouse and dividing your assets meanwhile increasing your expenses with two households to support. All is not lost however, you will also have more free time sans children. Use this time to take care of yourself!