Monday, August 23, 2010

Divorce expectations

Most people enter into a divorce situation hoping that things will get better. Some may have chosen the divorce, while others may feel that it was chosen for them. However, most people hope that when the dust settles; things will get better. For most that day can’t come soon enough. Whether your divorce is amicable or rather challenging, your expectations make a difference. If you expect the divorce to do something for you the marriage didn’t then you may be sorely disappointed. It is common for people to want the divorce to “settle the score” so to speak. Some people hope that the Courts will tell them who the good guy is and who the bad guy is in a divorce. Colorado is a no fault state, so the Courts won’t do this for folks. (They also won’t tell you that they are sorry for you, although they may say that they are sorry for your children.) It is extremely costly to try and get a “win” out of the divorce, to perhaps replace what you didn’t get out of the marriage. For those folks who might try to make the other parent “pay” for all the hurt and pain they have caused in a divorce situation, you will most likely find that it doesn’t work. Couples who come to the table with a realistic expectation tend to do better through the divorce proceedings. Two things that most parents will experience in a divorce are less time with their children than they had before, and less money than they had before. You will find that you will be sharing the children with your former spouse and dividing your assets meanwhile increasing your expenses with two households to support. All is not lost however, you will also have more free time sans children. Use this time to take care of yourself!

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