How has being single changed over time?
People are waiting longer than ever before to get married, if they get married at all. People are staying single into their late twenties or early thirties and our life spans continue to grow. Women continue to live longer than men, suggesting that there are many single women at the end of their lifespan. Of the people who do get married, many of them divorce. Fewer people are choosing to get remarried right away, if at all. Although the statistics are changing, Americans still spend more years of their adult life married than unmarried.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Castle Rock Radio
This weeks guest on Life After Divorce will be Brad Yodor; former judge and mediator. He will be sharing his wisdom and perspective from the bench. After serving as a judge for many years, he has some great insight into what works and what doesn't work when it comes to resolving divorce issues.
Listen to "Life After Divorce" at www.CastleRockRadio.com every Friday at 11:00am.
Listen to "Life After Divorce" at www.CastleRockRadio.com every Friday at 11:00am.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Divorce Coping Basics
What is the number one issue between divorcing couples?
I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear to see when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce.
How do control issues affect the divorce process?
How you act in the divorce process can ultimately determine what the outcome is. If you expect the courts to decide your future by asking the judge to make the decision, you've given the judge the ultimate control. If you take control of yourself and your behavior, by trying to do the best job you can as a parent, you maintain that control over yourself and you can influence your families' future. Remember you can't control your former spouse, but you can control your reaction to the divorce process. You can also have influence over the process. You can choose how you would like to present yourself and your ideas. Do you present these in a positive or negative manner? Do you try to force change or do you negotiate change? Do you act in a cooperative manner or an adversarial manner? Do you make yourself open to compromise?
How can I limit the negative effect that control issues can have on my divorce?
One of the best ways to limit the negative aspects of divorce is to pick the right type of lawyer for you. Work closely with that lawyer so that you are jointly managing the process. Have a good therapist, whether it is a psychologist, a rabbi, a minister or a priest. Stay healthy. Work out. Take care of yourself. Don't over-indulge, don't under-indulge. Don't be sleep-deprived. Don't become maniac or throw yourself into work 24/7. Try to be as emotionally and psychologically healthy as you can to limit the negative effect that control issues can have on your divorce.
PEACE: It doesn't mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm, focused, and steady.
I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear to see when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce.
How do control issues affect the divorce process?
How you act in the divorce process can ultimately determine what the outcome is. If you expect the courts to decide your future by asking the judge to make the decision, you've given the judge the ultimate control. If you take control of yourself and your behavior, by trying to do the best job you can as a parent, you maintain that control over yourself and you can influence your families' future. Remember you can't control your former spouse, but you can control your reaction to the divorce process. You can also have influence over the process. You can choose how you would like to present yourself and your ideas. Do you present these in a positive or negative manner? Do you try to force change or do you negotiate change? Do you act in a cooperative manner or an adversarial manner? Do you make yourself open to compromise?
How can I limit the negative effect that control issues can have on my divorce?
One of the best ways to limit the negative aspects of divorce is to pick the right type of lawyer for you. Work closely with that lawyer so that you are jointly managing the process. Have a good therapist, whether it is a psychologist, a rabbi, a minister or a priest. Stay healthy. Work out. Take care of yourself. Don't over-indulge, don't under-indulge. Don't be sleep-deprived. Don't become maniac or throw yourself into work 24/7. Try to be as emotionally and psychologically healthy as you can to limit the negative effect that control issues can have on your divorce.
PEACE: It doesn't mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm, focused, and steady.
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